Why can’t I just be like everyone else. Why do I have to question everything and have endless thoughts of nothing but things that stress me and give me anxiety. I lose myself in my mind and I constantly have these incredibly bizarre thoughts…some genius but the others are absolutely insane. I really scare myself sometimes. Why I feel the random need to slice my own flesh and watch myself bleed. It’s almost inhuman how sick I make myself. Everyday I try so hard to be happy, I smile and laugh and try to see the good in things but there’s this black smoke surrounding me and I’m just waiting for the cloud to lift. I feel like I’m drowning inside of my own body and it’s terrifying. I hate it, I hate how quickly my emotions take over every aspect of my being in a matter of seconds. It hurts to admit but I honestly feel like one day this curse will be the death of me, either an overdose or another suicide attempt.
As happy as others make me, I know that I am the only one that can really help myself. I just want to be saved.
But no one can save you from yourself.
Oh, so women can’t dress how they want because men can’t control their sexual urges? When dogs can’t control their sexual urges, we cut off their balls.
I think I’m onto something here.